Self-Care for the Sacred Feminine; self-care might be the wellness buzzword of the times, but it is easier talked about than done. The tools in the self-care toolbox are only growing to meet the pressures of an increasingly demanding world. Putting one’s own ‘oxygen mask’ on first before helping others has never been so important.
What does the nitty-gritty every day of self-care look like for you in this present moment? It looks different for everyone, and no two days will require the same self-care. One day it will be an extra square of dark chocolate after dinner. Another will be letting yourself off the hook for catching up with a good friend while skipping out on your jog. Another, it will mean turning your phone on airplane mode for 20 minutes while doing a quick guided meditation (or power nap!). It may be a restorative Pilates session after the kids are asleep.
Self-care is an opportunity to ground into the here and now. Put aside the double whammy of anxiety about the past plus stress about tomorrow and focusing on what is true with each passing inhale and exhale. The easiest and most straightforward way to start a self-care practice is by using the breath. Taking deep, expansive breaths into your belly and letting all of the tension and discomfort go with each out-breath is a way to bring a sense of pure safety and peace to your body. Focused breathing has a domino effect of evening out any stress-triggered hormonal imbalances or inflammation you might be struggling with within your body.
Just three deep, intentional breaths in through the nose and out through your mouth signals to your nervous system that it can relax and reset. When your monkey mind wanders (which it will!), acknowledge that it’s straying, witness that tendency with as little judgment as possible, and gently draw it back to the breath. Do this as many times as you need to.
Nurturing the Feminine Everyday
The wisdom and power of the feminine are in the new moon, in the darkness, in the silence, in the (often invisible and sometimes unappreciated) quiet healing power of mother nature. The woman who steps into her power through caring for herself first knows her own value, honors her personal truth, is unafraid to set strong boundaries, demonstrates love through her relationship with herself, and draws on a sense of internal validation and wholeness. “A woman in love with herself is magnetic,” writes Abiola Abrams, author of the Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.
Feminine qualities are moon-like, graceful, and soft. They are paradoxical: subtle yet fierce, shaded yet blinding, nuanced and complex yet elegantly simple.
But the nurturers need nurturing, not just occasionally, but daily. Mothering the mother is a concept that has come back into the household as doulas have once again become a staple of modern childbirth, supporting the ‘birth of the mother.’ The word doula literally means ‘with women.’ But the term is not confined to literal mothers. All those who identify with feminine energy have creative empowerment to ‘doula,’ guide, or bring life into being. This might be an actual child or business entrepreneurship, an artistic project, a cooperative endeavor, or a relationship.
Honoring the power of the creative yin means saying a gentle but firm “No,” when asked to do something that crosses your personal boundaries. It might mean sinking into the natural transformational energy of your menstrual cycle or perimenopausal phase and letting those hormonal shifts bring about new insights and awakenings in your life. It might mean redefining the word ‘selfish’ with a positive spin and no longer holding ‘self-sacrificing’ as the ultimate benchmark of what it means to be good and successful.
Stones, Aromatherapy, and Flower Essences for Self-Care
All precious stones can influence feminine energy, but a few stones have a specific affinity for nourishing women. Healing stones for nurturing the divine feminine include rose quartz, representing the heart-centered, loving, emotional self, and moonstone, embodying the intuitive, melancholy, and mystical.
embodying the intuitive>
Aromatherapy is a direct route to honoring sacred femininity through botanical fragrances. Oils channel their energy through smell, the most powerful of the senses. Clary sage is known as a spirit-opener that leads to clarity of vision and softening of the soul to new potential, which is a profoundly feminine characteristic. Rose strengthens the inner wise woman through its qualities of sweetness, compassion, kindness, and heart-centered love.
Essential Oils Clary Sage and Rose together have a sacred symbiosis that impacts the mind, body, and spirit, allowing the emotional body to release stuck feelings and the physical body to soothe stress levels. These oils can be used in the home in an essential oil diffuser or worn topically in a body or face mist, which also nourishes and tones the skin.
One of our favorite flower essences for enhancing a connection to the feminine is crabapple blossom. This energetic medicine works on a vibrational level to increase one’s ability to accept the self in the present moment exactly as one is. Embracing and loving the current self in all feminine, perfect imperfections is a profoundly feminine trait.
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